Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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