next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
