i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
