No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
