I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
