Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
