In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
