dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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