I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
