yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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