I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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