would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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