I want to have your abortion
Your mouth is God's brothel.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
