Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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