Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
