Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
