I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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