it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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