you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
