she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
