he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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