Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
