So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I wear drunk well.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
