Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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