...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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