sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
