are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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