Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
