I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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