Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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