so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
