He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
