They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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