sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just high enough for therapy.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
