We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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