Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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