my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
