She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
