oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
