Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
