remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
