So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
