he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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