Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
