Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
