We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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