New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
