I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
