If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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