If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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