We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
