Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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