I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
