elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
