guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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