he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Randomize
