I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
