i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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