I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize