This is not my ceiling
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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