It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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