i would punch a child for taco bell
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
