used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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